I need to take action to be happy

Focusing on dreams,

But they seem hard to obtain.

When will I live the dream?

A lack of Christmas Spirit.

25/12/2014


I haven't felt the Christmas spirit for a few years now. I think it's probably due to the fact that my family doesn't celebrate Christmas properly. We don't make a turkey, we don't buy presents for each other and a few years ago we even stopped getting the tree out and decorating it. It's quite sad to think about if I am honest.

I went to my friends house last week. Her whole house was decorated so nicely. There was a huge Christmas tree with lots of tinsel and fairy lights, it was so beautiful and at my house we have the most pathetic 2 foot tall tree that lights up by itself.

I managed to convince my mother that this year we should at least have a roast chicken if we are not going to have a turkey, thankfully she said yes. But it's up to me to cook it unfortunately for my family, if we end up with food poisoning we will know how.

There's not one sign of a Christmas present either. When I was younger me and my brother would get the most amazing Christmas presents, dare I say even better than our birthday presents. I am pretty sure that even back then I didn't feel the Christmas spirit I was probably just overly excited to get all my presents.

I think my favourite Christmas present was my Guitar Hero set for the Wii. I remember spending the whole day in front of my T.V. taking turns with my brother to master certain Metallica songs. I think that was my favourite Christmas.

I honestly hope it gets better than this, I don't want to feel this sad every Christmas (or every birthday either, but that's another story for another day).

M.K.

Caught.

25/12/2014

So being an 18 year old student at college, I still live with my parents. I am a good kid, as in I've never rebelled, at least not in a major way, I have always listened to my parents and did what they said. But today I feel as if that good kid image has been shattered. They have realised I'm not that same good little studious 15 year old anymore. They have realised I am an adult, an adult with cigarettes in her possession.

I was pretty careless with where I had placed them, in plain view of everyone. My mother found them and then called my father to also have a talk with me. At first I got really flustered and thought they were both going to kill me, so I did what any other teenager would do, I passed the blame on to someone else. My cousin. She actually does smoke, and quite often at that. Now they both have a tarnished image of her, which I created.

I wrote a haiku, which I felt was the easiest way to convey my feelings right now.

Embarrassed. Fuck.
Ashamed for lying to them.
Must adhere to my truth.


M.K.